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ABC acquires some Good Christian Bitches

After a fierce bidding war, ABC has acquired a Darren Star-produced series based on the Kim Gatlin novel Good Christian Bitches—but it won’t be called that, of course, even though we would definitely at least DVR it if it were, just to say thanks. The show is described as “Desperate Housewives in Dallas,” which may as well be the title: It’s about an affluent, recently divorced mother of two who relocates to a ritzy Dallas neighborhood and forthwith meets some bitches, who say bitchy things to each other in between doing stereotypical bitch things like bitching out the help and getting Botox on their bitch faces. It’s brought to you by Star, who previously created the teen bitch-fest Beverly Hills, 90210, then wrote bitchy words for the ladies of Sex And The City, and most recently created the bitchy career woman dramedy Cashmere Mafia, which was itself sort of a bitch-ass version of Desperate Housewives. But yeah, don’t expect to see the words “Christian” and “Bitches” within two blocks of each other on Disney-owned ABC, lest it be accused of participating in this ongoing war on Christians. (Though there will be bitching regardless.)

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