Here’s hoping those “Happy Retirement Kevin Smith!” banners are refundable, as it seems less and less likely that the director will follow through on his declared plans to retire after Clerks III. Smith’s decision to further postpone retirement is largely thanks to Tusk, that previously reported project involving the surgical transformation of Justin Long into a walrus. As Smith wrote on his Facebook page, “After conceiving and shooting Tusk in less than 6 months… I realized that film isn't in my blood… MY films are in my blood. And some of 'em are still in there, so I better get 'em out!”
And so, after taking a three-year break from filmmaking, Smith has developed a new philosophy: “From now until I drop dead, I'm only ever gonna make a flick that only I would/could ever make," he writes. "Jersey Girl, Zack & Miri, Cop Out—while I love them all, these are movies anybody could make. Like 'em or hate 'em, nobody else but me could've (or would've) ever made Clerks. Or Chasing Amy. Or Dogma. Or Red State. Or Clerks II. Or Mallrats. Or Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back.”
That December 31 post also revealed he’s planning to start shooting Clerks III in May and that his next project after that will, like Tusk, be based on a Smodcast episode and titled Helena Handbag. However, on January 1, Smith followed that up by saying he sees Helena Handbag not as a movie, but a Book Of Mormon-style musical, likely bringing to the stage his story about “mankind teaming up with Hell to save existence from extinction at the hands of a Rapturing giant Jesus." And after that, you can probably look forward to many more projects that only Kevin Smith would/could ever make—or maybe not, depending on if he changes his mind again. Perhaps it would be best to invest in a wide assortment of Kevin Smith banners to cover all the bases.
Send your Newswire tips to firstname.lastname@example.org