Sony just threw between six and seven figures at Kevin James and Adam Sandler and told them to go make another pandering schlubby buddy comedy already, and the joke is on them because they’re totally going to: Deadline reports that Sandler will team up with his Grown-Ups and I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry co-star James—as well as James’ frequent collaborator Nick Bakay (Paul Blart: Mall Cop, Zookeeper), the best fat guy gag writer in the biz—for Valet Guys, about two valet parking guys who witness a murder and are then forced to go on the run. You know, it must be nice to get to a point where you’ve achieved absolute contentment with your rut, and you’ve become so secure in the fact that you’ll bank $100 million no matter the formula, you can concoct a flimsy premise for your next blockbuster based on the shit you see as you’re rolling up to the restaurant to meet with studio executives. ("The way I see it is I'm one of those vintage ashtray stands, and Kev here is a takeout menu floating listlessly in the wind." "Nice, Sandman, but how do you kick a takeout menu in the balls?" "Oh yeah! I dunno." "You see? Maybe put a pin in that for DreamWorks, though. So what else ya got?")
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