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Al Roker Is A Simmering Cauldron Of Rage

Laugh, or he'll knock you out

Like most dysfunctional—excuse me, dysFUNctional families, everyone on the Today Show has their role: Matt Lauer is the glib one; Meredith Viera is the laid-back one; Anne Curry is the one with a bag of quick-dry cement in place of her brain; and Al Roker is the incubus who sucks your soul from your sleeping body (That's why they gave him the kids' book club).

But Al Roker thinks he's the funny one—you can tell by the way he's always grinning like a ghost clown in a dark, abandoned amusement park—so God help you if your lukewarm joke gets a bigger laugh than Al's because he will try to take you out. If that means attempting to hit you in the head with a giant foam rubber cylinder, and then pretending like "Ha ha, isn't that funny? The way I clearly wanted to slam this thing into your head?" then so be it. 

Immediately following this segment, Roker shook Jenna's hand, and pulled her in for what appeared to be a friendly, morning-show-personality to-morning-show-personality hug. Smiling brightly, he whispered into her ear through his teeth, "Next time, you won't have time to duck. Understand? Al Roker gets the laffs on the Today Show, or no one does, got it?"