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America votes to return Jared Leto to acting, give him AIDS

In one of the more controversial ballot measures in an election crowded with same-sex marriage and marijuana legalization measures, America voted to restore Jared Leto to actor status, ending his five-year term as just “the guy from 30 Seconds To Mars” by giving him AIDS. For the forthcoming ’80s period drama Dallas Buyers Club, Leto will put down the emo rock star eyeliner and pick up the movie star eyeliner to play Rayon, a cross-dressing AIDS patient who meets the similarly AIDS-inflicted Ron Woodroof—played by the dramatically emaciated Matthew McConaughey—and becomes part of Woodroof’s scheme to smuggle AIDS medicine into the United States. While Leto taking what producers have described as a “choice” role in the film doesn’t necessarily mean he’s making a more permanent return to acting and away from music, at last report Karl Rove was still refusing to accept the outcome, having locked himself into his dressing room to blast 2005’s A Beautiful Lie on repeat.  

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