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America will finally get its own Human Centipede

Along with providing cinema’s most medically accurate depictions of ass-to-mouth surgery and the effects of masturbating with sandpaper, Human Centipede director Tom Six has long insisted that his waste-swallowing Weltanschauung is really an allegory for the experience of World War II—where, thanks to one German madman, the effects of European conflicts were passed through the global theater like so much shit through an abnormally elongated esophagus. So after condensing Britain’s The Blitz to the visually potent metaphor of an asshole being raped by a dick wrapped in barbed-wire (and getting banned in the UK for his efforts, by Brits still unable to process the emotions of the past), naturally Six is bringing the story to its logical conclusion with a sequel set in America.

Giving hope to struggling, undiscerning actors all over this great nation, Six promised a crowd at a recent Empire event that The Human Centipede 3 would be shot entirely in the United States, perhaps exploring the difficult decision that Roosevelt made in the wake of Pearl Harbor with a scene where a dude is raped in the ass with a pineapple. He also said it would be his “favorite” Centipede film and guaranteed again that it would “upset a lot of people,” though we can’t imagine why. Americans love a good World War II movie.

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