And now Tom Cruise is going to remake The Magnificent Seven

And now Tom Cruise is going to remake The Magnificent Seven

Having heard the criticisms that he couldn't play the hulking, 6-foot-5 Jack Reacher and shrugged them off with a smile that turned into a discomfiting, maniacal cackle, Tom Cruise is now ready to star in a remake of The Magnificent Seven, because he knows he's the only one who can, and the power is in the knowing, or something. "Whee, I'm a cowboy!" the thetan inside Tom Cruise exclaimed, though Variety cautions that the project, which Cruise has been interested in for a while now, is "still a long ways off," giving Cruise plenty of time to get good and grizzled to play one of seven gunfighters tasked with protecting a small Mexican village while clenching his jaw manfully, or the Earth to shrug us off like fleas. Meanwhile, MGM has begun quietly searching for both a writer and director to take on the remake of John Sturges' 1960 Western—a film that was itself a remake of Akira Kurosawa's The Seven Samurai, which is itself being remade by The Weinstein Company. In other words, it will be a remake of a remake of a film that is concurrently being remade, and the domino chain of recursive events shall unlock the doors of the universe.

Filed Under: Film

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