Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Wednesday, February 27. All times are Eastern.
Top Chef (Bravo, 10 p.m.): After taking viewers from Seattle all the way up to Alaska, Top Chef headed to Los Angeles for its two-part finale, which concludes tonight. Which of the chefs will be the top one? Which of the chefs will crack under the pressure? And which of them will go on to a lucrative future of bouncing from food-based reality show to food-based reality show? You can only discover the answers by watching the finale with Emily Withrow at your side, top chefing all the while.
Arrow (The CW, 8 p.m.): Deadshot’s back, and he’s got Malcolm in his sights. This would naturally be trouble enough for Oliver, but he’s also got to balance Arrow time with time spent with his new girlfriend McKenna. Alasdair Wilkins thinks it’s pretty ridiculous to date someone named McKenna.
The Middle (ABC, 8 p.m.): It’s been a while since we’ve seen creative TV punishments, but Frankie and Mike devise such a thing for their kids when they use a game show-style wheel o’ consequences to figure out who broke a window. Will Harris can’t take it any longer! He broke the window! On purpose!
Survivor (CBS, 8 p.m.): The TV Guide summary promises that tonight’s episode will feature a Tribal Council that’s “intense.” Will it be? We can only assume so, because those TV Guide summaries never lie. Carrie Raisler won’t believe this is “intense” until she sees 15 chainsaw-juggling bears dueling.
Modern Family (ABC, 9 p.m.): Our great experiment of having every single one of our writers tackle Modern Family while Donna Bowman’s ABC affiliate shows basketball instead now turns to Erik Adams, who knows barely anything about the show. Erik: It’s a multi-camera sitcom about a clown college!
Supernatural (The CW, 9 p.m.): Everybody wants to get in on the Walking Dead’s massive audience, but Supernatural’s latest zombie episode would be fine with just a handful of the people who watch that AMC show and a jar of honey-roasted peanuts. Phil Dyess-Nugent would be fine with just the peanuts.
Suburgatory (ABC, 9:30 p.m.): So, we all know that Tessa’s going to have to go to college sometime, and she’s probably not going to go to college at Chatswin Community College. The show confronts that eventuality tonight. Brandon Nowalk’s more concerned about what will become of Ryan and Tessa.
The Americans (FX, 10 p.m.): Genevieve Koski is back, and she and Todd VanDerWerff are going to tell you about all of the sexy sex you have to have when you’re a spy. And don’t even think about complaining about it! Because it’s just part of the job, like people who have to watch TV for money.
Nashville (ABC, 10 p.m.): When last we checked, Todd VanDerWerff was kind of having a good time with this show, particularly when it involved Juliette yelling at people. He’s hoping that tonight’s episode—probably the last for a while—will just be a solid hour of Hayden Panettiere’s veins bursting.
Southland (TNT, 10 p.m.): The ratings for this show are struggling in recent weeks, and while five seasons would be a perfectly respectable run for this series, we’re not quite ready to let it go just yet. Kevin McFarland’s name is going to be mentioned three times in this column, just like Beetlejuice.
Workaholics (Comedy Central, 10 p.m.): The guys visit a rest home and meet Adam’s grandfather, and if you can sense that broiling sensation in the air and see those dark clouds in the air, then you’ll know that we’ve said Kevin McFarland’s name a second time, and he’s very nearly manifested. Beware!
Kroll Show (Comedy Central, 10:30 p.m.): The players unveil a new ice skating/dating show in an episode called—creatively enough—“Ice Dating.” David Sims joined an online ice dating service, but it kept trying to match him up with Tonya Harding, and she just wasn’t his type. Too bad for you, David!
TV CLUB CLASSIC
Slings And Arrows (1 p.m.): When last we checked in with our Canadian thespians, Jack had taken off for parts unknown the night before Hamlet was to open. Will there be a happy ending? Todd VanDerWerff knows Canada is known for happy endings. Except for in Alberta. That province is filled with grim death.
WHAT ELSE IS ON
Guys With Kids (NBC, 8:30 p.m.): By all rights, this is the last time this show will ever air, and it will go out with a Keshia Knight Pulliam cameo, to go along with the presence of fellow Cosby Show alum Tempestt Bledsoe. But, actually, this might be back, because NBC can’t cancel everything, right?
Boston’s Finest (TNT, 9 p.m.): Boston resident Ryan McGee checks out this new reality show about the city’s cops, from executive producer Donnie Wahlberg. Ryan always wanted to be a Boston cop and/or talk in a ridiculously over-the-top Boston accent, so we naturally thought of him for the review.
Psych (USA, 10 p.m.): We covered the last season of this show regularly, but it didn’t exactly set the world on fire in terms of readers, so we’re giving it this one last chance before we get rid of it. Kevin McFarland covers again, and now that he’s fully manifested, he says, “Boo!” Scared you, didn’t he?
Stranded (Syfy, 10 p.m.): Syfy’s mad attempt to turn every single hour of its network over to things that go bump in the night continues with this weird effort at making Paranormal Activity into a reality show. You know what? If Ghost Mine couldn’t find a real ghost, we’re pretty sure this show will fail too.
Hulk (AMC, 8 p.m.): That charming Asian man who won the Oscar for Best Director the other night? That was Ang Lee, and he’s now won twice, his other victory coming for Brokeback Mountain. But if you want to see his finest work, it’s indisputably* this film, which must be why AMC has chosen to air it.
U-571 (Ion, 9 p.m.): If you get a network known as “Ion,” you can check in with this surprisingly entertaining submarine movie, which features Matthew McConaughey, Harvey Keitel, and Jon Bon Jovi, of all people, as soldiers dispatched to commandeer a Nazi U-boat and steal the German code system.
NBA Basketball: Warriors at Knicks (ESPN, 8 p.m.): David Sims, who cares about this shit more than we do, has determined that the Knicks are the best team to cheer for in the Association of National Basketballs. Well, David, the Warriors are 15-4 in the last 19 meetings of these teams, so hold tight.
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
Raising Hope (Tuesday): We’re rapidly approaching the end of Fox’s experiment to improve its Tuesday night ratings by airing an hour of Raising Hope every week. Has it been working? We honestly don’t know, but we do know that Phil Dyess-Nugent thinks the season has really turned itself around of late.
*-Hulk being Ang Lee’s finest film is not, in fact, indisputable. We’re as shocked as you are.