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Apple no longer thinks farts are funny, bans them from Apple Watch

Perfectly encapsulating the struggle between base animal nature and the higher realm of the intellect that rages inside all human beings, no sooner had humankind invented a device that put the entirety of human knowledge literally at one’s fingertips than somebody used it to make fart noises. Originally introduced in 2008, the iFart app was downloaded more than 100,000 times in its first few days of existence and claims to be “an Apple All-Time TOP 20 App!” (It also claims to be “the world’s most popular digital fart machine,” for what that’s worth.)

But even with its new “Social Farts” function, the pun-rich app and its ilk are apparently not welcome on Apple’s newest piece of hoity-toity portable technology, the Apple Watch. The developer of something called Fart Watch—which basically turns your iPhone into a whoopie cushion controlled by your Apple Watch because who cares if someone sits on your iPhone and breaks it, you have Apple Watch now—recently sent a juicy, fragrant tip to the Apple fan site Cult Of Mac saying that Apple had rejected its app on the basis that, “We noticed that your Apple Watch app is primarily a fart app. We do not accept fart apps on Apple Watch.”

This is a clear change in policy for Apple, which didn’t have a problem with fart apps when it approved the myriad already available for iPhone and, as iFart proudly points out on its blog, iPad. But the new Apple Watch is far too sophisticated for such juvenile amusements and no longer thinks farts are funny, probably because it’s busy smelling its own. Meanwhile, somebody already developed a fart app for Google Glass, giving consumers at least one reason to be sad that Google Glass is dead.


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