The Arnold Schwarzenegger imbroglio may have briefly derailed his return to acting, imbued every project he takes from here on out with uncomfortable subtext, and, of course, destroyed a couple of families forever, but unless we’ve seen it dramatized on Law And Order, did it ever really happen? Fortunately for all of us, that existential conundrum will be answered on an upcoming episode of the franchise, which will feature a storyline loosely based around a man’s revelation that he secretly fathered a son with his housekeeper more than a decade ago—a man who, in this case, is the charming philanthropist head of one of “New York’s royal families,” and who may or may not bear a comically exaggerated accent. Unfortunately for Arnold Schwarzenegger, the cancellation of Law And Order: Los Angeles has led to some rather unintended consequences, as his paternity scandal can now only be solved by the last remaining Law And Order series: the seamy sex crime investigators of Special Victims Unit. If only Schwarzenegger had come out with it sooner, he may have had a slightly more dignified humiliation at the hands of Alfred Molina.
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