NBA Finals: Miami Heat at San Antonio Spurs (ABC, 9 p.m.): Game four of the finals is tonight and the Spurs are winning the series 2-1 and we’re not going to lie, we really, really want the Spurs to win this series. We were pretending to be evenhanded before and we’re just not anymore because it’s too late for equivocation, readers. Too late. NOTE: This game will be preceded, as are all the Finals games, by a very special edition of Jimmy Kimmel Live. We’re as disappointed as you are.
Clarence (Cartoon Network, 6:45 p.m.): Last week we pointed out that Cartoon Network was marooning this show and Steven Universe on Monday nights, but apparently we were wrong! Clarence moves to the Thursday night block that is still mysteriously called FRESH THURSDAY, to join its brethren…
Adventure Time (Cartoon Network, 7 p.m.) and Regular Show (Cartoon Network, 7:30 p.m.): Just another reminder that these are now Thursday-night shows. Oliver Sava and Alasdair Wilkins have adjusted their schedules; we, probably, should adjust our expectations.
Comedy Bang! Bang! (IFC, 10:30 p.m.): You know how last week we said Emily L. Stephens was covering this tonight? We were wrong. That was actually David Kallison, and tonight, Emily’s actually covering it. Nick Offerman is the guest, and he is wearing green, we’re informed. Sure hope you like this, because if not there’s really nothing else on!
TV CLUB CLASSIC
Monty Python’s Flying Circus (1 p.m.): We spent some time trying to remember our favorite Monty Python quote, but you know, they all sound really dumb out of context. That one with throwing fruit is pretty legit, though. Zack Handlen agrees, mostly.
Friday Night Lights (3 p.m.): And we hear Sonia Saraiya is watching the two episodes in this upcoming review right now—which could not be more tonally different. One is about civil disobedience, and the other is about losing virginity! Those usually aren’t that connected, but fortunately, Friday Night Lights contains multitudes.
ELSEWHERE IN TV CLUB
It’s the first day of The Long Weekend Of Game Of Thrones! We sure hope you’re excited, because we are. First up: an Expert Witness with David J. Peterson, the linguist for the show, who created Dothraki and Valyrian.
And over in TV Reviews, Alasdair Wilkins has a review of the upcoming miniseries The Escape Artist, starring David Tennant. It’s not about Houdini. We checked.
WHAT ELSE IS ON?
The American Bible Challenge (GSN, 8 p.m.): Week five. Somewhere, someone is waiting for the rapture.
Fixer Upper (HGTV, 9 p.m.): “Missionaries Enlist Kids to Find Retreat in Their Hometown of Waco, Texas.” They own an orphanage in Uganda but come home biannually. To Waco. So, that sounds like a blast.
Mountain Monsters (Discovery, 10 p.m.): “An investigation into a werewolf-like creature that has been reportedly spotted in Webster County, West Virginia, where the team rush to set up a pit trap before the full moon passes.”
How It’s Made (Science, 9 p.m.): Covered tonight: electric vehicle charging stations, grappa, and lunar rover replicas—which are far rarer than lunar rover originals.
St. Elmo’s Fire (TV Guide, 8 p.m.): Dude, St. Elmo’s Fire! This movie is super weird, but look, it’s those people from The Breakfast Club, playing totally different people! And also, Rob Lowe is there, lighting hairspray on fire!
Stomp The Yard (VH1, 9 p.m.): Columbus Short in the early days of his (short) career, now that he’s been fired from Scandal because Shonda Rhimes doesn’t put up with spouse-abusers. We haven’t seen this movie, though. However, we gather stomping is part of the story.
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
We only had one review yesterday, and that was our top pick. It was Todd VanDerWerff’s TV Club Classic review of Lost. It seems hard to imagine you would have missed it. But we dunno, maybe you did. So here, have some Lost.