Be happy you’re not outside watching Super Bowl XLVIII

Be happy you’re not outside watching Super Bowl XLVIII

Here’s what’s up in the world of television for February 2. All times are Eastern.

TOP PICK

Super Bowl XLVIII (Fox, 6:25 p.m.): The Super Bowl is sports’ most coveted ticket, a once-a-year opportunity afforded to only a chosen few. But, for once, Average Joe and Jane American have an advantage over those privileged schmucks: For the first time in the big game’s 48-year history, potential NFL champions are being exposed to legitimately wintry conditions. So enjoy the comforts of your own living room, and be thankful you’re not experiencing February temperatures in New Jersey first-hand. (Also give thanks that you’re not confined to the snow globe torture chamber Cleatus the robot  has apparently constructed for his eternal nemeses, the NFL on Fox team.) 


ALSO NOTED

Sherlock (PBS, 9:58 p.m.): Undaunted by a mere game of American football, Sherlock Holmes charges to the end of the third season. If there was a World Cup match on tonight, however, Genevieve Valentine supposes things would’ve shaken out differently.  

New Girl (Fox, after the Super Bowl): Bruno Mars and Red Hot Chili Peppers (y’all heard Abracadabralifornia yet? Best Peps track since “The Adventures Of Rain Dance Maggie” for sure) provide tonight’s half-time entertainment. But New Girl and Erik Adams know the truth: Since 2007, all Super Bowl musical interludes belong to tonight’s special guest star (a special guest star tonight and every night), Prince.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine (Fox, after New Girl): During his football career, Terry Crews never played in a Super Bowl. But he gets the chance to play around the Super Bowl tonight, opposite the Muppets in a Toyota ad and appearing alongside fellow NFL vet Joe Theismann. Not wanting to see a repeat of this, Molly Eichel humbly requests that Crews refrain from tackling Theismann.  


REGULAR COVERAGE

Downton Abbey (PBS, 9 p.m.)
Shameless (Showtime, 9 p.m.)


TV CLUB CLASSIC

Doctor Who (11 a.m.): Amid all the jock talk, a refuge for those who don’t care about the Super Bowl (which, we remind you, is a lot of people): A blast from the Whovian past intersects with a guest appearance by Anthony “Sure, call me Giles if you must” Head. You can thank Aladair Wilkins later, when he’s done watching the Super Bowl.

The Simpsons (Classic) (3 p.m.): Looking for a fun spot to watch the game? Erik Adams recommends Uncle Moe’s Family Feedbag. It’s the place to go if you like good food, good fun, and a whole lot of crazy crap on the walls!


WHAT ELSE IS ON

Kitten Bowl (Hallmark Channel, 12 p.m.): Alternate Super Bowl programming reaches a new saturation point this year, as once-marginalized creatures take the spotlight on Hallmark.

Puppy Bowl X (Animal Planet, 3 p.m.): Then, the baby animals that other baby animals used to “cheer” for step onto the field to commemorate a decade of puppy-versus-puppy excitement. 

Fish Bowl (Nat Geo Wild, 6 p.m.): Finally, the day-long “Awww” concludes with American cable’s first legitimate entry in the “slow television” movement: A camera trained on a fish bowl for four hours. The future of TV is here, and it breathes through gills.

The Lost Weekend (TCM, 8 p.m.): Or, as anyone attending the Super Bowl will refer to it, the last two days in East Rutherford, New Jersey.

War Of The Worlds (MoMAX, 9 p.m.): If your team loses, remember it’s not the end of the world. This is the end of the world, as seen through the forever-staring-off-into-the-distance eyes of Steven Spielberg.


TOMORROW IN TV CLUB

Begin the NFL offseason in the proper fashion: With Myles McNutt’s in-depth 100 Episodes dissection of The Lizzie Bennet Diaries. After that, come down from all the hubbub of high-stakes football games and web-based Jane Austen adaptations with Todd VanDerWerff and a pre-air review of PBS’ The Amish: Shunned.


WHAT ARE YOU EATING AT THE SUPER BOWL PARTY?

Oh, we’re looking at a menu of wings, chili, cornbread, and some queso.


WHAT’S IN THIS CORNBREAD?

Raspberry jam. Crazy, right?


HOW’D YOU MAKE THE QUESO?

Well, ever since Kraft started giving away every Texan’s secret queso recipe, not that way. 


BEING INDOORS IS THE BEST, ISN’T IT?

Yup.


IN CASE YOU MISSED IT

Girls/Looking (Saturday): You may have legitimately missed these, because HBO bumped them out of their normal timeslots to avoid the big, Vince Lombardi Trophy-shaped bulldozer that’s plowing through tonight’s lineup. You didn’t miss True Detective, though—that one’s on hold for the week.