In case you avoided the MTV Video Music Awards last night, and you haven’t noticed all the blood-weeping statues this morning, Beyoncé is pregnant, a revelation that overshadowed even totally spontaneous VMA “moments” like Lady Gaga’s transgender Ralph Macchio routine and Katy Perry’s cheese hat, and promises at least one terrible Jay-Z rap-ballad about trying to be a good father to come. But the aftershocks don’t stop there: Deadline is reporting that Beyoncé’s pregnancy has also shaken up the Clint Eastwood-directed remake of A Star Is Born, which was supposed to start production in February. Of course, with Beyoncé busy nurturing destiny’s child, using her God-given placenta that separates her from everyone else, that likely won’t happen now.
Still, the delay could actually end up being a good thing, seeing as the film has yet to find a male lead: Now that he no longer has to humor Eastwood on the set of J. Edgar, Leonardo DiCaprio is officially out, which leaves the field wide-open for someone else to step in and play the bitter alcoholic to Beyoncé’s rising ingénue. Other rumored contenders include everyone from Robert Downey Jr. to Jon Hamm to Christian Bale to Will Smith—with Smith the obvious choice, seeing as he, Jay-Z, and Beyoncé have so much work to do in training their collective brood for their eventual rule of all entertainment. Expect to hear more about this, doled out in vague, one-to-two-sentence updates buried within the avalanche of Beyoncé motherhood stories over the next year or so.
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