Recently, Bill O'Reilly (of discounted Bill O'Reilly jigsaw puzzle, and "No Spin" polo shirt fame) momentarily stopped slapping his name and the American flag on high-quality merchandise shipped from China, stepped out of his no-spin comfort zone, and had dinner with a real, live black person–Al Sharpton.
According to this re-cap of his radio show, the experience was evidently an eye-opening one for O'Reilly. For starters, O'Reilly learned that black people own and run restaurants too! And, despite what you might think, those restaurants are exactly like restaurants run by white people, with tables and chairs, and food, and everything:
Well put, O'Reilly. Who knew that "separate but equal" still existed today, that it could be stretched to fit restaurants, and that it actually means separate but equal?
O'Reilly was also pleasantly surprised to find that black people can exist outside of rap videos, with all of their "M-Fer this, M-Fer that." Turns out, some black people can sit down and eat in a restaurant without yelling obscenities–just like white people!
Wow. So, despite what hacky comedians would have you believe, white people aren't all, "Hello, Jim. How are you today?" while black people are all, "Yo Jim! Where's my motherfucking iced tea?" That's incredible.
Unfortunately, though, the difference between normal people and Bill O'Reilly has grown that much wider–because while normal people are all, "You know, I had a nice dinner the other day," Bill O'Reilly is all, "You know, I ate dinner with a black person the other day, and he could use a knife and a fork! Also, I'm a racist."