Brett Ratner deemed an acceptable substitute for Steven Spielberg

Brett Ratner deemed an acceptable substitute for Steven Spielberg

With Steven Spielberg busy playing with horsies and presidents, DreamWorks has been forced to find someone else to take over its adaptation of the successful children’s book (and online game and trading card) series The 39 Clues, which Spielberg had been considering directing since 2008. And when you think “books” and “children,” naturally you think Brett Ratner, who has now signed on to tell the story of kids from the world’s most powerful family competing against rival clans and their very own relatives in a global hunt for clues as to their ancestors’ powers, most of which have something to do with assembling a chemical compound. Anyway, just a heads up that many, many people have already made the “Finally, Brett Ratner gets a clue” joke, so you may have to dig a little deeper. "Get me his non-union, non-Mexican, disreputable equivalent!" also seems a bit obvious. Maybe something about Chris Tucker playing the element of tungsten? I don't know. Get back to us.