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Bristol Palin and The Situation tell you all about the importance of abstinence

Hey look, Sarah Palin’s daughter Bristol (who became a spokesperson for abstinence as overcompensation for complicating her mom’s political career by getting pregnant as a very not abstinent teenager) has teamed up with Jersey Shore’s The Situation (whose celebrity is based entirely on fucking any moth attracted to the reality TV flame, occasionally in public restrooms) to tell you not to have sex. This very real public service announcement finds “B. Palin” resisting the advances of a Magnum-slinging The Situation, presumably after a trying day of shooting on Dancing With The Stars, after which they have a frank discussion about the value of abstinence, which they encourage by saying the word “situation” so many times you’ll gladly mutilate your own genitals just to ensure that the human race will no longer be allowed to continue.

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