Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Tuesday, December 4. All times are Eastern.
Sons Of Anarchy (FX, 10 p.m.): Zack Handlen has truly enjoyed the past 12 episodes of Sons Of Anarchy, but that’s not enough to keep him from dreading another finale like the one that derailed season four. Still, he soldiers on unafraid of plot twists or the smuttiest of Kurt Sutter insults because Zack, like Jax, is a man who has accepted his fate and will see this job through to the very end. (But, really, please let this episode be the capper season five deserves.)
Raising Hope (Fox, 8 p.m.): Jimmy and Barney: They’re cops—for the duration of tonight’s episode, at least. Afterward, Phil Dyess-Nugent wants their guns and badges on his desk, along with a written apology for wrecking the Pope’s visit with their so-called “heroism.”
Ben And Kate (Fox, 8:30 p.m.): “Unexpected guests” disturb a Kate-Will camping trip, and since Tommy and BJ are apparently the stars of the B-plot, Molly Eichel’s just gonna go ahead and guess “unexpected guests” is short for “Ben and Maddie.”
Happy Endings (ABC, 9 p.m.): Penny’s had another mishap that requires some heavy lifting from the Happy Endings props department. It’s a “prescription helmet,” which David Sims warns may cause side effects including uncontrollable giggles and the desire to see Casey Wilson in a new ridiculous medical situation every week.
Don’t Trust The B---- In Apartment 23 (ABC, 9:30 p.m.): One reason to love Don’t Trust The B---- is the writing staff’s utter commitment to its gags, no matter how throwaway they seem at first—for example, JVDB’s turn on Dancing With The Stars. The reality competition figures heavily into his plot this week, the choreography for which Emily Guendelsberger has been working day and night to memorize.
New Girl (Fox, 9 p.m.): It’s decision time for Schmidt and Cece, in an episode where Erik Adams assumes the plot about Jess and Winston lobbying to install a bathtub in the loft is a parallel to Schmidty’s decision between the woman of his dreams and the woman who forced him into a 50 Shades Of Grey arrangement. However, sometimes bathroom furnishings are just bathroom furnishings.
Go On (NBC, 9 p.m.): NBC is broadcast TV’s official sponsor of Christmas creep this year—getting a full week’s jump on the other networks when it comes to holiday episodes—and it opens the first door of its Advent calendar with a Go On celebration that incorporates the “forthcoming” Mayan apocalypse. If Sonia Saraiya can get wifi in her doomsday bunker, she’ll have a review.
The Mindy Project (Fox, 9:30 p.m.): Mindy considers starting her own practice, which is too drastic a move to actually foreshadow the overhaul The Mindy Project is currently undergoing. Even so, the Internet’s #1 Chris Messina fan, David Sims, simply won’t stand for such aggression!
Parenthood (NBC, 10 p.m.): RitterWatch, Week 10: Todd VanDerWerff nervously drums his fingers as Sarah helps Hank with family issues, putting considerable strain on her relationship with Mark. Somewhere in California, an entire shipment of blueberry muffins goes missing; Jason Ritter’s whereabouts at the time of the incident are unknown.
WHAT ELSE IS ON
Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer (CBS, 8 p.m.): With record-high temperatures across the United States, general holiday spirit could use a big boost from Yukon Cornelius, The Abominable Snow Monster of the North, and the other wintry signifiers of this Rankin-Bass classic. That giant snowstorm from the end of the special could come in handy, too—though that’s a more fanciful notion than flying reindeer these days. Thanks a lot, global warming.
Storage Wars (A&E, 9 p.m.): The return of new Storage Wars episodes is heralded by a half hour titled “Straight Into Compton: Biddaz With Attitude.” We would’ve also accepted “YUUUP! Tha Police.”
The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show (CBS, 10 p.m.): It’s become a new Christmas tradition to chase Rudolph with the newest parade of gaudy Victoria’s Secrets undergarments. This will only cease being funny when an Animagic Alessandra Ambrosio replaces Sam The Snowman as the narrator of Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer.
Tosh.0 (Comedy Central, 10 p.m.): The A.V. Club skipped the 100th edition of “Daniel Tosh says exactly what you were thinking about that web clip” last week in favor of timing its regular “state of the Tosh” address with the fourth-season finale. Kevin McFarland will share some important information about ongoing Tosh/trampoline accident relations.
Win Win (MoreMAX, 7:15 p.m.): No situation’s ever a “win” for a Paul Giamatti character—let alone a “win win”—so don’t be too surprised when things start going cockeyed for the lawyer/high-school wrestling coach played by Giamatti in this film.
Star Trek II: The Wrath Of Khan (Syfy, 8 p.m.): Or as the best of the original-series-based Star Trek movies is known around the Internet, The Wrath Of Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!
College Basketball: Connecticut vs. North Carolina State (ESPN, 9 p.m.): In a tribute to late coach Jimmy Valvano—the namesake of the evening’s Jimmy V Classic at Madison Square Garden—NC State takes the court in jerseys bearing a visual acknowledgement of Valvano’s 1983 NCAA Tournament championship. (It also sort of makes the Wolfpack temporarily look like the Spider-Men.)
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
Misfits: The Misfits are terrorized by a killer rabbit, an adversary about which Rowan Kaiser has allowed us to make one Monty Python And The Holy Grail allusion. You silly sod, you got us all worked up—whoops, looks like we’ve already done it. Carry on.