Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Monday, March 11. All times are Eastern.
The Following (Fox, 9 p.m.): Last week, we learned that—and incredibly boring and prosaic spoilers follow—serial killer Joe’s big plan was to… get out of prison. So he could kill some more. How interesting! Now that he’s out again and living in a big-ass house with all of his “followers,” up to and including a couple of corporate executives who are really good with their straight-edge razors, well, we’re sure that everybody will start to get on each other’s nerves. Maybe Joe can kill one follower who doesn’t meet his standards per week? David Sims would prefer if this were more like a reality show.
The Carrie Diaries (The CW, 8 p.m.): Here’s an episode called “The Great Unknown.” Have you heard the song of the same name by The Damnwells? We think that for what it is—weepy, tuneful soft rock—it’s pretty darn good. We also think Carrie Raisler, who’s keeping the lights on tonight, would like it a lot.
Switched At Birth (ABC Family, 8 p.m.): Tonight’s midseason finale is entitled “Introducing The Miracle,” which is what Carrie Raisler insists we hire an announcer to shout whenever she comes to visit. That would be all well and good, but does she need to always enter to AC/DC’s “Thunderstruck”?
RuPaul’s Drag Race (Logo, 9 p.m.): With Adventure Time taking a break for a couple of weeks, Oliver Sava can devote even more of his focus to this season of RuPaul’s Drag Race, which is, according to some of you, the best season ever, and, according to others of you, a huge disappointment. Well then!
TV CLUB CLASSIC
Peep Show (11 a.m.): This week’s second episode features the first appearance of Alan Johnson, which is exciting in and of itself but would be even more exciting if he were American country superstar Alan Jackson and he had dropped by to perform a rousing version of his number one hit “Chattahoochee.”
Batman: The Animated Series (1 p.m.): A bunch of stuff is being stolen by circus animals, which strikes us as the greatest plot for an episode of television that we’ve ever heard of. Honestly, we’d be far more likely to become criminals if hanging out with circus animals was a part of the deal. Oliver Sava agrees.
WHAT ELSE IS ON
The Bachelor (ABC, 8 p.m.): Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Another season of The Bachelor turns to rust. We’ve been led to believe that the titular bachelor this season was “a virgin,” and we’re not quite sure if we believe that, but we only read it on supermarket magazine covers, so who can really know?
Hindenburg/Ring Of Fire (Encore/Reelz, 8 p.m.): Two new disaster miniseries make their American debuts tonight. The first is about, well, a zeppelin falling to its fiery doom. The second is about a bunch of volcanoes that are set off by man’s fearsome meddling with the Earth’s crust. You should watch both!
Dallas (TNT, 9 p.m.): If you’ve been waiting to pay your last respects to Larry Hagman by watching the show that starred him send his most famous character off into the great beyond, this is the episode you’ve been waiting for. Tune in to find out how J.R. dies; stay for his funeral and cry mighty tears.
Kings Point (HBO, 9 p.m.): We don’t know a damn thing about this Oscar-nominated documentary short—making its TV debut tonight—but we do know from watching the clips package during the ceremony that it’s about adorably dancing old people. And there’s nothing we love more than that!
The Deer Hunter (Flix, 8 p.m.): We have so many fond memories of all the times we watched this with our fathers, all the times that we did shot-for-shot remakes in preschool, all the times we’ve played Russian roulette in the office, saying we’d be done, then caving in for just one more round. So beautiful.
The Perfect Storm (IFC, 8 p.m.): This movie has a lot of stuff going on, but what it boils down to is that scene where George Clooney takes on that big-ass wave, and you’d better believe that wave backs down in the face of his raw charisma and handsomeness. Actually, spoiler alert, the wave totally wins.
Colonial Basketball Championship: From Richmond (NBC Sports, 7 p.m.): As we write this, the semifinals have yet to happen, so we don’t know which two of Northeastern, Delaware, James Madison, and George Mason have advanced, but we’re pretty certain that whatever happens, it’ll be exciting.
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
Shameless (Sunday): Is it just us, or has this season been even more all over the place than the other seasons, with the good stuff being ridiculously good while the less good stuff has been… pretty bad? Joshua Alston’s been reviewing it weekly, and his write-ups have found the show similarly scattered.