After Iron Man 3, like so many American products, had most of its parts assembled in China, Marvel has announced it will release a special China-only edition of the film, as a way of extending gratitude to the republic for still having money. The press release doesn’t go into many specifics about the “specially prepared bonus footage made exclusively for the Chinese audience” that can be expected if and when the film passes government censors and arrives in theaters—though the Chinese version will feature an exclusive appearance from popular Chinese actress Fan Bingbing (who's presumably replacing Don Cheadle this time, just for kicks), and will be spicier than you may be accustomed to, so you may choose to order it "medium." It’s also possible Chinese audiences will see The Mandarin revealed as a British man who’s only pretending to be Chinese in an attempt to bring great shame upon the nation, possibly out of his jealousy over its industriousness. But that would be ridiculous.
Send your Newswire tips to firstname.lastname@example.org