Corey Feldman’s new music video for his single “Ascension Millennium” is truly a thing to behold in the most confusing way possible. According to a press release, it is meant to portray “a day in the life” of the actor while simultaneously launching his brand, Corey’s Angels, a “new 360 production, development, and agency, coupled with a private membership club and members website.” It all sounds like something Jean Ralphio could really get behind.
But back to the video. It’s being hyped as the first time Feldman and Goonies costar Sean Astin have been on screen together in more than 25 years. Not to knock the significance, but Astin appears on screen for about three seconds or so. He shows Feldman a map that never seems to come back into play because Feldman never leaves his own house…and that’s it.
Like the rest of us, the former child star wakes up to women in Halloween-quality lingerie, takes waterless showers, struggles to put on his Michael Jackson gloves, pretends to eat pancakes made by his personal chef, records a song in his green-screened guest room, and sleeps in his studded leather pants.
It all feels a little confusing. What is this neon energy drink? Why did Feldman let his houseguests throw trash in his pool? Why didn’t he eat those pancakes that seemed to excite him so much? Is that the jacket?
Hopefully these answers will come with Feldman’s as-yet-untitled solo album, which will apparently feature collaborations with Fred Durst and Scotty Page among others. Let’s hope it warrants a tour so that we can all experience this kind of thing live.
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