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Damn it, Google, stop teaching AI how to walk around and murder us

(Screenshot: Tech Insider/ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gn4nRCC9TwQ
(Screenshot: Tech Insider/ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gn4nRCC9TwQ

Google’s Deep Mind project has taken another adorable, silly, extremely goofy step toward world domination this week, with a new video highlighting how the artificial intelligence project taught itself to walk. Showcasing a series of models that all look extremely cute—right up until the point when they come lunging, posture perfect, at us from out of the darkness—the Tech Insider video says the digital creations were given the ability to sense their environments, an incentive to get from point A to point B, and nothing else, and proceeded to teach themselves how to get up and move around.

The result is like a stickman version of parkour, with the AI constructs waggling their arms erratically and slamming face-first into obstacles. And yet, they constantly seem to overcome them, just as easily as they’ll someday climb over mountains of our skulls in some awful, AdSense-supported future. Of special note: the four-legged, spider-like model, which, the video notes, is “especially efficient at jumping.” You can underscore it with whatever silly music you like, Tech Insider; jumping spider-bot is now lurking forever in the back of our dreams.

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