Dean Norris, who plays Hank Schrader on Breaking Bad, has gone and totally spoiled the ending of the tension-laden series. Schrader posted a video on Funny Or Die in which he reads from “Hank Wins,” the script he says he wrote for the series finale. In it, Hank easily bests Walt, who says, “great job arresting me, Hank,” and subsequently kills himself. Hank then reveals that all the minerals he’s collected have given him both superpowers and the ability to grow long, blond locks again. A “babe in a sexy dress” then gets involved after Marie both gives him permission to have sex with whoever and tells him that he’s Walt Jr.’s dad now. Enter Hank’s talking skateboard, Wheelie, to fly him to Mars because the planet is supposedly in need of a great DEA agent to counteract some insane intergalactic drug lord, thus setting up Norris’ Breaking Bad spin-off, Mineral Man. “Vince Gilligan” even pops in to let Norris know that “Hank Wins” is the best script he’s ever read, so much so that he’s quitting show business, just because he knows he’ll never produce anything better. All in all, probably not how Breaking Bad ends, but a satisfying exercise for Hank fans all the same.
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