Finally, a convergence of science and television that results in more than just another cheap gimmick. The Hollywood Reporter relays that DirecTV is planning to market its satellite TV service to hotels with an irresistible accessory: the first-ever anti-microbial remote, designed specifically with the germ-ridden cesspool that is the average hotel room in mind. Finally, visitors will be able to enjoy DirecTV’s 100 HD channels and full local programming, along with the inner peace that comes from knowing their remote is safe and sanitary, no matter which orifice it was placed in by the previous occupant, or the fluids that may have been transferred to it during the routine viewing of porn. So when you see the DirecTV logo, suck on your remote without hesitation—just be sure to leave a little breathing room to say, “Thanks, science.”
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