Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Tuesday, June 4. All times are Eastern.
The Office (Classic) (3 p.m.): TV Club’s birth in the fall of 2007 means we missed the early seasons of many of our favorite programs; for instance, did you know that there are four other seasons of The Wire, each appreciably better than the one Scott Tobias reviewed in ’08? (That season still received straight “A”s—standards were much more lax back then.) The section’s inception also meant we jumped into the American version of The Office just as it was starting to lose its balance, leaving the show’s first three seasons up for grabs. Fresh from blubbering his way through the series finale, Erik Adams begins combing through the archival files at Dunder Mifflin—beginning with visions of what would and would not be: The show’s lackluster pilot and the much, much better “Diversity Day.”
Awkward. (MTV, 10 p.m.): Jenna’s feelings for Collin officially tip over into “crush” territory—“crush” is also the verb that describes what this episode does to the hopes of noted Matty-Jenna ’shipper Myles McNutt.
TV CLUB CLASSIC
The Shield (Classic) (11 a.m.): The members of the Strike Team are glad to see another TV Club favorite taken off the bench to have its rookie seasons examined. Brandon Nowalk will make sure this doesn’t end with Vic getting called in to bust some heads when The Office’s “Drug Testing” rolls around.
Six Feet Under (1 p.m.): It’s been almost a year since John Teti last checked in with the Fishers—which is convenient, because the third season begins one year after the events of “The Last Time.” Let’s hear it for temporal symmetry!
WHAT ELSE IS ON
Dance Moms (Lifetime, 8 p.m.): In a considerable show of restraint, Lifetime opted not to advertise this season première and the debut of the network’s latest spray-tanned and bottle-blonde human nightmare, Pretty Wicked Moms, under the tagline “This summer, every Monday is Moms Day.” This marks the first time the word “restraint” has ever been used in reference to Dance Moms.
America’s Got Talent (NBC, 9 p.m.): The big news for the new season of America’s Got Talent involves the addition of Heidi Klum and former Spice Girl Melanie Brown to the judging panel—so, naturally, NBC set the stage for that addition by sinking a bunch of money into a James Brown lip dub starring AGT host Nick Cannon. What, Klum’s too good to bust a few moves to the Godfather of Soul?
Exit (Syfy, 10 p.m.): From the network that brought you Urkel Says “Put Your Head In This Box”, it’s the American adaptation of the only Japanese game show that pretends to kill its contestants. Real Life Battle Royale can’t be too far off in the future!
Swamp Murders (ID, 10 p.m.): Trying to sell a TV show? Have you thought about adding the word “swamp” or “moms” to the title?
The Greatest Game Ever Played (Golf, 8 p.m.): If you go over to the Golf Channel’s house, you’ll find that the only movies it owns are this pre-Transformers/Alec Baldwin-beef Shia LaBeouf vehicle, Tin Cup, and a well-worn VHS of Caddyshack.
Little Children (Sundance, 8 p.m.): In which Jackie Earle Haley ended a 13-year onscreen absence, earned an Academy Award nomination, and jump-started the second act of his career—and all he had to do was take one measly role as a pedophile trying to put his life back together in the same town where Kate Winslet and Patrick Wilson are falling apart.
Stanley Cup Playoff: Game 3: Blackhawks at Kings (NBC Sports, 9 p.m.): The Blackhaws have a 2-0 lead over the Kings as the Western Conference finals head to Los Angeles, where the defending Stanley Cup champs haven’t lost a game all playoffs. But this is the same Hawks squad that went 24 straight games without a regulation loss this year, so it’s pretty much a wash in terms of predicting the winner of this game by meaningless-yet-headline-grabbing achievements.
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
Mistresses: Carrie Raisler calls this new ABC offering “the dry toast and apple sauce of nighttime soaps.” So, bad news for anyone who was hoping for some twisty, tawdry fun on their summer Mondays—but good news for fans of not-particularly-appetizing late-night snacks.