Though 1987’s Dirty Dancing was already sort-of redone as the baffling, time-warped Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights, the Black Eyed Peas slapped together this song since then, instantly creating a void that can only be filled by the end credits sequence of a near shot-for-shot remake, where everything is just younger and louder. So enter High School Musical director Kenny Ortega, recently hired by Lionsgate to head up the long-threatened rehash of the classic about the power of dance and really tight pants to help you have sex with a rich girl.
While Ortega obviously knows something about completely superfluous updates of ’80s films that exist solely to cram modern dance moves in there, having briefly been attached to direct the new Footloose, he also has a long history with Dirty Dancing, choreographing the first film and even helming two episodes of the Dirty Dancing TV series that we completely forgot about until this very minute. Were you aware that Melora Hardin—a.k.a. Jan from The Office—played “Baby,” while Bridesmaids director Paul Feig played a bellhop? We were not, and suddenly we’re way more interested in seeing all of the episodes of that back-to-back. In the meantime, we’ll just watch that show’s opening credits sequence on repeat until this whole story goes away.
Send your Newswire tips to firstname.lastname@example.org