After some 80 years of enjoying the credibility and gravitas that comes with being printed on actual paper, which allows readers at the dentist's office to convey to everyone else that they are interested in politics, Newsweek has announced that it will slink off into the dank and lawless alleyways of online publishing in early 2013, the inevitable outcome of years of increasingly desperate sensationalism. This newest of the "new" Newsweeks will henceforth be known as Newsweek Global, and it will share some of its content for free through The Daily Beast, while also providing a subscription model for readers who, in the words of editor Tina Brown, "want to learn about world events in a sophisticated context" without the embarrassment of doing so while holding up a cover proclaiming "Heaven Is Real" or featuring pictures of totally ragin' Muslims. Its final print issue will be released on Dec. 31, presumably commemorated with a computer-generated image of Newsweek "if it were here now" walking alongside Kate Middleton.
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