Having reached the point where it openly considered turning 1984’s Romancing The Stone into an Ugly Truth reunion—and still everyone just averted their eyes and said nothing—Fox has decided it may as well make it into an NBC series, if that’s the way you’re going to play it. Perhaps if they adapt the story of Michael Douglas hacking away the vines standing between him and Kathleen Turner’s vagina into a weekly drama about “a successful but unfulfilled woman who teams with a risk-taking adventurer to take on weekly missions while on a larger quest to find her missing brother,” yet they still call it Romancing The Stone for some reason, perhaps then you’ll learn to take Fox seriously when it threatens to wring desperate name recognition from an only marginally appreciated property, instead of just coming up its own jungle-based story. As is, they’re already contacted Night At The Museum director Shawn Levy about returning to series television for the first time since Pepper Dennis. Pepper Dennis. Oh, does Fox have your attention now? Well, too little, too late.
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