As anyone familiar with the fast-paced, no-time-for-spell-check inner workings of Paramount knows by now, the studio has been making every effort to relaunch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for the second or third time, because it is “a huge Viacom priority.” Also, art or something. Unfortunately, the first draft from writer John Fusco—best known, perhaps, for the Young Guns franchise—was deemed “not great,” despite Fusco’s extensive meetings with original Turtles co-creator Peter Laird about capturing the darker tone of the original comics. Fortunately for Viacom (and the rest of you, we guess), Paramount has now hired Art Marcum and Matt Holloway, who have both done second draft work on Iron Man and Punisher: War Zone, and whose upcoming projects include reboots of Highlander and Buck Rogers—so clearly they’re comfortable with taking established properties and giving them the kind of modern-day zing that would make Paramount excited again. The new, live-action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles could now begin shooting as early as next year, which means Corey Feldman should start campaigning for a part sometime next week.
And now, here's an obligatory video of Vanilla Ice doing "Ninja Rap (Go Ninja Go)."