Tomb Raider reboot in the works without Angelina Jolie

Tomb Raider reboot in the works without Angelina Jolie

Following a recent archaeological dig, GK Films have unearthed the Tomb Raider franchise from its ancient early-’00s resting place, and are now polishing their exciting rediscovery for a reboot to debut sometime in 2013. The Tomb Raider films, based on the successful video game series that proved disproportionately large breasts do not preclude one from swashbuckling adventure, starred Angelina Jolie as Lara Croft, and helped cement Jolie’s current status as an action star. However, Jolie is not expected to return to the role, as sources say the next round of Tomb Raider films will likely begin with an “origin story” and focus on “daring new adventures for the young and dynamic Lara Croft.”

If that sounds familiar, it’s because Terminator: Salvation producer Daniel Lin had the same idea in 2009, and rumors abounded at the time that Megan Fox would take the lead—something she then reportedly turned down because she was, like, so tired of hearing that she’s the next Angelina Jolie. At the time, Jolie was said to be “furious” about Fox’s involvement (as she supposedly believes Fox “copies everything about her”), and also, presumably, the implication that she is getting old. The role is now wide-open to any young actress who’s willing to weather Jolie’s icy glare, as Jolie is no doubt this minute gazing stoically at the press release emphasizing the need for a "young" Lara Croft, the sound of the world outside dissipating behind the buzz of angry hornets in her mind.

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