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Two And A Half Men replaces half-man with not-man

After child star and tinned meat tycoon Angus T. Steakflower left Two And A Half Men in a billowing cloud of religious piety and turpentine liniment, the show has been forced to find another less-than-man to fulfill the most necessary ingredient of its comedy besides dicks. According to Deadline, it will do so by the rules of comedic escalation, going well beyond mere half-men all the way to not-men, and introducing the long-lost daughter of the departed Charlie Sheen’s character. This not-man, so hilariously not a man, will arrive next season looking for her dead father and—finding instead his sad brother and the weird, differently sad billionaire who lives with him—will opt to move right on in, despite her being a 20-year-old woman with presumably better things to do than stick around and be uncomfortably sexualized by Ashton Kutcher all day. Still, her presence as a link to the show’s past, however desperately shoehorned in, serves the much larger purpose of maintaining the all-important continuity of Jon Cryer’s paychecks. 

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