The condition of your Voltron remake has been downgraded from “pointless big-screen adaptation that will be called a cynical cash-in on Transformers” to “new toy line and Nicktoons cartoon series that most people over the age of 12 won’t even notice, except when they have the sudden realization that Voltron is now 25 fucking years old and are forced to confront the ceaseless march of mortality all over again.”
The first new Voltron project in a decade will be known as Voltron Force, once again concentrating on a group of five pilots who fly around in robotic spaceships shaped like lions for some reason, and who never seem to realize until the last five minutes of the show that they’ll always get their asses kicked unless they form one giant, invincible robot with a huge-ass sword, which is, really, the whole point of their existence. Voltron Force is set to debut next year alongside a new line of Voltron toys that’s said to revolve around an “edgier, modernized robot,” which we guess means it has a drug problem? Seriously, we have no idea what “edgier” means in this context.
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