After a decade on TLC, the network is ending What Not To Wear, the reality series in which hosts Stacy London and Clinton Kelly chided clueless guests as they wrapped themselves in barbed wire and placed bedpans on their heads like jaunty chapeaus. “No!” they'd scream, alternately slapping and hosing down their filthy guttersnipe charges. “Bright colors! Slimming cuts!” they’d shriek, bundling them in flowery pastels and sawing off their love handles. The show has been a staple of TLC ever since it was exported from the UK in 2003, but it’s recently become marginalized on the home of Honey Boo Boo for its insistence on engineering positive change in people’s lives, rather than just gawking at their putrescence until they die. What Not To Wear begins its final run of episodes this July, after which Americans will once more flail around figuring out for themselves what not to wear. “Does this look okay?” your spouse will say, while attempting to button a coat made of live dogs and fire.
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