Cowboy Ninja Viking: What resembles an ADD-addled pitch of desperation bouncing around the Spike TV boardroom is actually a popular comic-book series being adapted into a big-screen Disney feature by Zombieland and Deadpool writers Paul Wernick and Rhett Reese, according to Deadline. The story concerns one of the many, many shadowy agencies of ass-kicking secret operatives out there, this one staffed by patients suffering from multiple personality disorder, whose mental problems become actual assets when a psychotherapist recruits them for an elite group of assassins called the Triplets. When the Triplets get out of control, as people with dangerous dissociative disorders and who are also ass-kicking secret operatives are wont to do, it’s up to “the deadliest Triplet of them all,” Cowboy Ninja Viking, to step up and use the assembled strengths (and resolve the conflicting ideologies) of his cowboy, ninja, and Viking personas to take them down. They’re certainly doing some odd things in counterintelligence work these days. What happened to just putting people in drag and sticking them in college sororities, like Hoover intended?