The life of an MI6 secret agent seems so relaxing. You get to chill out on beaches, drive fast cars, shoot people, and ride around on enormous boats. Not to mention all the sex! Well, thanks to a European travel agency, you’ll soon be able to enjoy the James Bond vacation of your dreams. If you can afford it, that is (and you probably can’t).
As reported by the London Evening Standard, the trip—billed as “the ultimate 007 holiday”—will cost you more than $800,000, and it will take you through seven countries in 21 days. Beginning in London, you’ll be treated to a Bond-themed tour of the city in a Rolls-Royce, followed by a trip to Monaco, where you’ll be invited to play an obscure card game (that hopefully won’t indirectly launder money for terrorists). After that, you’ll take a ride in an Aston Martin and recreate the Ferrari car chase from GoldenEye (watch out for bicyclists), then hop over to Turkey for a walking tour of the rooftops that Bond chased the bad guy across in the beginning of Skyfall.
If this all sounds a little too cheery for a James Bond adventure, your next stop will be Thailand, where a private boat will take you to Khao Phing Khan, the island featured in The Man With The Golden Gun. There you’ll be given the chance to recreate its famous duel scene and maybe even kill world-renowned actor Christopher Lee (his schedule permitting). Finally, you’ll go to Jamaica for a stay at James Bond creator Ian Fleming’s actual estate. You’ll then have the opportunity to write your own series of wildly popular spy novels, which you’ll definitely have to do in order to pay for the insanely expensive vacation you’ve just taken. Of course, you could always just rob Fort Knox—an activity suspiciously absent from this trip’s itinerary.