Ever vigilant against overflows that could cause toxic damage, ExxonMobil has filed a lawsuit against FX, claiming that the logo for its new FXX network runs the risk of harmfully polluting its brand. Their environmental concerns for their specific corporate environment hinges on the use of an interlocking “XX” in both logos—descending from left to right in Exxon, ascending from left to right in FXX, yet inarguably containing two X’s cohabitating on a sacred ground that ExxonMobil believes should be legally protected. Other companies making use of the double-X—as seen in the Dos Equis logo, as well as pornographic films that aren’t quite as good—leave enough space between them to create a sort of spillway for consumer confusion.
Not so with FXX, which ExxonMobil claims ignored its request to change the logo, even as the company presented the always-ironclad argument of “Internet comments from various websites” (including one from this very, very reputable website!), in which people wondered aloud about the possible relationship between the two companies, because they both have those X’s. People posting bewildered comments on the Internet, the suit argues, is evidence of that consumer confusion—as well as that, yes, there is a connection between FXX and ExxonMobil and it’s called Obama, who’s colluding with the oil companies and the basic cable comedy networks to force everyone to watch The League. And then he’s making you pay for it.
With neither FX nor various sheeple willing to wake up and admit there is a connection, ExxonMobil is now seeking a court order forcing the network to change their design, and pay the world’s third-largest company treble damages for all the hazardous contamination it’s done. The network, for its part, claims there is no risk of brand pollution, saying in a statement to Bloomberg, “We are confident that viewers won’t tune into FXX looking for gas or motor oil and drivers won’t pull up to an Exxon pump station expecting to get It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.” A theory based purely on speculation; one hopes that more independent research of that hypothesis is forthcoming, before any more harm can befall our world’s most endangered oil companies.