Needing someone who can give it the firm, guiding hand it so desperately needs, Fifty Shades Of Grey has cast the icily, yet sensuously stern Marcia Gay Harden in the role of Dr. Grace Trevylan Grey, the adoptive mother who introduces her damaged billionaire son Christian Grey to his “cougar lover,” who then instructs him in the ways of BDSM that form the basis of all romance. Holy crap, Universal thought, as it gazed upon the film’s burgeoning Harden. Could it possibly fit a Harden of such impressive stature inside its sloppy role? Or, by forcing it into such deliciously dirty places—where some say Hardens don’t belong—would that only make this Harden stand out more proudly, to rise above it all? Universal hesitated while chewing its lip, in the manner of all who are sexily contemplating what to do with Hardens. But before Universal could even think in a string of irritatingly callow clichés, the Harden was already inside, working away. Oh!