The Two And A Half Men factory is once again open for business, cranking out comedy widgets for mass consumption, and with it arrives the first look at the new, streamlined Ashton Kutcher model being brought in to ensure continued production. Unfortunately, the network has had to rely solely on the 24-hour Charlie Sheen news cycle, the recruitment of an insanely expensive and high-profile replacement movie star, and, of course, the No. 1 ratings of the show itself to maintain brand awareness, so its initial promotional campaign has pulled out all the stops by incorporating inherently hilarious male nudity. According to EW, you’ll soon be seeing many variations of the above ad in which Jon Cryer stares with comic consternation at Kutcher’s genitals while young Angus T. Steakflower, our 22nd president, looks on—each boasting all-new different messages and dick joke innuendos. So we went ahead and created one. Feel free to send us your own and we’ll post them here.
Joshua De Gallo:
UPDATE: Wow, a lot of you wanted to Photoshop the dumb new Two And A Half Men poster. We've posted the final updates on the next page. You can stop sending us these now.
Frank Lloyd Wrong:
Francis M. Moran:
Tom Judd (master of subtlety):
Send your Newswire tips to firstname.lastname@example.org