As the night beckons and Charlie Sheen retires to smoke from the Sheen pipe and lucid-dream his next Coleridge-worthy verse—and as Sheen’s attorney Marty Singer launches the first volley in what promises to be a vituperative breach-of-contract battle that will only get louder and uglier in the days ahead—we bend here to a more self-serving task, namely presenting your user-submitted artists’ renderings of Sheen as a tiger-blooded, fiery-fisted warlock. Here are the few we’ve received so far. I probably should have mentioned that ideally we need something that can fit in the letterboxed, 700 x 390 pixel format of our articles, so I’m not sure any of these will cut it as a day-to-day thing, leaving the field still pretty much wide open. Nevertheless, go ahead and vote for your favorites of these in the comments, keep the submissions coming, and we’ll add them here as they come in.
Here's one from Mikael Rubin.
And another from Dave "Beef-O-Brady" Harmon.
Here's one from Richard "richardjm" Murray, who boldly opted to not put a tiger on Charlie Sheen's crotch.
Casey Barteau, after hoovering a rail of pure, uncut Sheen, confidently proclaims that we now "have your Number One, motherfucker."
UPDATE: The F-18s roared into the night. Yes, there are more.
From Kyle Halleman.
From "Swami Dearest"
From "Saucy Jack" ("Don't be a pussy. This is the winner.")
From Kate Moore, who cites as her inspiration "those super cool wolf/moon T-shirts."
From Jay Winebrenner. I think we're losing the whole "tiger-blooded warlock" thing here, guys.
From David Blumenstein. Did you actually draw this, David Blumenstein?
Anyway, in case you're planning on sending us your own, maybe do it before 12pm CT today. Then we can choose a winner, and start applying it to Sheen reports for the rest of the day and beyond.
SECOND UPDATE: For real, we're about to put the kibosh on this whole endeavor before we turn into Fark or something, so get 'em in if you're doing one.
Here's a different take on "warlock" from "Mikey B."
From Thomas Lechleiter.
And a special guest contribution from the esteemed Fake Criterions.
FINAL UPDATE: Obviously this could go on all day, but this is getting kind of ridiculous. So here are the last few entries. Please don't send us anymore.
From Sam Brougham.
From Carl Worden.
And the last one from Doug Filiak.
I'm now going to start a thread in the comments to solicit votes and choose a winner, with the (mostly) mutually agreed-upon image becoming the default image to go with our "Charlie Sheen Says Crazy Shit" updates. Choose wisely.
Submit your Newswire tips here.