Last year, thanks to the ARK Music Factory and its ability to manufacture pop stars using little more than rich preteens and cash from their indulgent mothers as raw materials, we all learned that "Friday" is easily the best day of the week. But hold the fucking cereal bowl, Rebecca Black: "Friday" may be the best day of the week, but once a year, Thursday blows Friday out of the water, because Thanksgiving—the day when all the kids gather to dance, eat, and give thanks for their bounty of swag.
"Friday" writer-producer Patrice Wilson has done it again with "It's Thanksgiving," his ode to the dopest of holidays, sung by newest "discovery" Nicole Westbrook, promising a veritable cornucopia of preteen "fun" as loosely defined by the consumption of mashed potatoes while not going to school. And don't worry, as Wilson's way with a winning pop song formula remains airtight: pumping dance beats, call-and-response choruses ("With the turkey—AY!"), hip-hop breakdowns, multiple repetitions of the word "we" to fill a bar, lessons in how time works ("December was Christmas / January was New Year's / April was Easter / And the Fourth of July / But now it's Thanksgiving"), etc. Indeed, it's all there—including Wilson himself, who pops up in a turkey costume to dine with his best preteen pals and chow down on their ribs, because that is the kind of Thanksgiving party that Nicole Westbrook throws.
We will say that we're disappointed that Wilson didn't mirror "Friday" a little more closely with a "Gratitude, gratitude—YEAH," "Pilgrimage, pilgrimage—YEAH," "Puritans, Puritans—NO" stanza, but it's impossible to be that upset. After all, it's almost "Thanksgiving," homies! Mashed potatoes! MASHED POTATOES!
Submit your Great Job, Internet tips here