Capping off a year that saw his end-of-year-list-topping, multi-Grammy-nominated album Channel Orange leaving him feeling invincible, Frank Ocean kicked off 2013 by getting busted for pot possession. Ocean was pulled over for speeding through Mono County, California, reportedly doing "roughly 90 in a 65," and after officers smelled weed smoke, they searched him and found "a small bag of pot." He was briefly detained in the back of a squad car—where he snapped this Instagram photo, because that's what we do now—while officers cited him for marijuana possession, driving on a suspended license (which they confiscated), and having tinted front windows (presumably not confiscated). Ocean was then immediately released on the condition that his passenger drive him home.
All in all, a fairly dull story that lacks, say, the "T.I. allegedly celebrates his probation by smoking a joint in his Maybach with cups of codeine syrup and tabs of ecstasy scattered around" flavor that we have come to crave from our stories of musicians having a run-in with the law. And so—because this is Frank Ocean, and because discussion of his sexuality became inseparable from him last year—numerous gossip and hip-hop blogs initially ran wild with speculation that Ocean was detained for "suspicious behavior...tinged with a sexual bent" with his male companion, because that's the kind of bullshit he and we still have to put up with, apparently.
Anyway, Ocean himself winked at those crap reports with this tweet, which is just smart enough to make up for the stupidity of speeding while you're smoking pot. Seriously, everyone: If you’re not going to wait until you get home, at least drive carefully. Let's all make that our New Year's resolution.