Demonstrating the classic pro-American values of ambition, can-do-it-iveness, and shooting at shit you’ve launched into the sky with a giant catapult, Kid Rock released a video on Instagram today in which he fired a bunch of grills into the sky and then shot them down with a shotgun. The video, sadly, wasn’t the official kick-off announcement for the Rock v. Nugent senatorial campaign that will soon herald the end phase of our ongoing political apocalypse; rather, it was a promotional stunt for Rock’s American Badass line of grills, literally destroying the foreign-made competition and the concept of subtlety in a single massive blast.
Besides serving as a reminder that Kid Rock has his own Martha Stewart-esque lifestyle brand, the video makes a great test for your own mental model of “what Kid Rock might do”. Would he underscore footage of himself with “Bawitdaba”—a song which, coincidentally, will soon be old enough to vote? (He would.) Would he literally yell “In your face, China!” after sending his foreign-assembled foe to white trash Valhalla? (Absolutely.) Is Kid Rock eventually going to be president? (…) Oh God. What fresh hell have we just monkey-pawed onto the earth?
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