Seeing the classic Zorro tale trapped within the crumbling Spanish stucco villa that is the looted and pillaged public domain, Fox has boldly ridden in to spirit it away to freedom and a new life—specifically within the futuristic, post-apocalyptic wasteland of the previously announced Zorro Reborn. And although this new Zorro won’t be set in Mexico or California, or retain any of the original’s mythology beyond the idea of a “masked vigilante,” they still kinda need a Mexican guy, because that is apparently the one crucial element preventing everyone from saying, “Hey, just what kind of Zorro movie is this, anyway?” And that's when the fires start.
Fortunately, Fox has found that Mexican guy in Gael Garcia Bernal, who will don the mask and seek out the injustices of the future, then possibly carve up the people responsible with his laser sword. That's just speculation, of course—although that, at least, would differentiate the project from the other planned Zorro reboot from Sony, which is hoping to revisit the successes of its Antonio Banderas-starring franchise by adapting Isabel Allende’s 2005 origin story Zorro. We are thus ensured a looming box-office boom of both “regular Zorros” and “future Zorros” that, together, will protect our sleepy little village from tyrants who would insist that we have no Zorros. No! Drink deep from the well of Zorros, my friends!
Send your Newswire tips to email@example.com