Always more than happy to take away the things that you enjoy, George R.R. Martin has offered a rebuttal to the intimation made by South Park that he’s obsessed with wieners. Clevver News caught up with Martin at Comic-Con, where he was taking some much-needed downtime, and asked him what he thought of those late November episodes. And while Martin, a professed South Park fan, said he hadn’t actually watched them—though his wife and assistants have, and they remain on his TiVo waiting to wound his “sensitive soul”—he’s well aware that they portray him as an author of unlimited imagination when it comes to flaccid penises. Or, as the man who once described both the “thick and veined, with a bulbous purple head” penis of Tyrion and the “fat pink mast” of Samwell Tarly prudishly calls them, “weenies”:
I do have to say, I’ve been told that my character on South Park is obsessed about weenies. I have to deny this as a scurrilous rumor. I have nothing against weenies, weenies are fine, but I am not obsessed with weenies. I am definitely on the boobies side of the equation. They picked the wrong equation for me. Boobies, not weenies.
Specifically, boobies with nipples, the florid descriptions of which are a mainstay of Martin’s writing—presumably also factoring greatly into his forthcoming novel, which he also teased at Comic-Con when he wasn’t talking about wieners. Commenting on the recent casting of Oberyn Martell’s daughters, dubbed the Sand Snakes, Martin told Zap2It, “I hope you like them, because you’re also going to be seeing a lot of them in The Winds Of Winter.” After all, nothing like a stiff, wintry wind to stir the nipple.