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This guy is full of shit, and by “shit” we mean cheese pizza

Vice has released a short documentary to accompany its recent interview with Dan Janssen, a Maryland-based 38-year-old who claims to subsist almost entirely on pizza. (And not just any pizza—plain cheese pizza with extra sauce. As he demonstrates in the video, mushrooms make him gag.) Entitled “The Pizza King,” the 15-minute short follows Janssen as he takes the filmmakers for a tour of his hometown and opines on his favorite subject, which is obviously pizza. 

Four minutes in, Janssen pulls out an insulin kit and declares that he needs to check his blood sugar. He then goes on to claim that his illness is not caused by his diet, and even if it was, diabetes is a small price to pay for a lifestyle that literally dozens of idiots on the Internet (and Kelly Ripa, as he proudly points out) say is awesome. Of course, the only thing separating this guy from a TLC freakshow is production value and a tattoo sleeve. But if self-indulgent man-children with pathological food aversions fit your definition of “hero,” then prepare to have your mind blown. 

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