Halloween

Wizard Video only released two games for the 2600, both based on horror films: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, a laughably unplayable game where you play as Leatherface and chase teenagers with a chainsaw that looks more like a strap-on, and Halloween, a much more enjoyable game where you play as The Babysitter, trying to survive an enchanted evening with Michael Myers.

Gameplay: As The Babysitter, your job is to get the children to bed so you can sneak your boyfriend in through the kitchen door and dry-hump on the couch. Unfortunately for both of you, there's a masked killer in the house, and the game doesn't have enough memory to animate your boyfriend.

Collecting the kids isn't simple, though. The lights frequently flicker off on the upper floor, and Michael Myers shows up—randomly and without warning, just like in the movies—to stab you with his knife. Your only defense is to run around or away from him, or find the house's only knife and stab him with it.

When you pick up and lead three children to safety, you'll move on to the next level, which we like to call Halloween II. Don't worry, there's no idiotic Halloween III: Season Of The Witch level.

Could be mistaken for: Terrific Running Mask Man Challenge House

Kids today might not like it because: Though it was hardcore for the 2600, the little 8-bit spurts of blood don't hold up in a world where headshots in Counterstrike are commonplace.

Kids today might like it because: It's really cool when Michael Myers shows up, accompanied by the 8-bit version of the Halloween theme music.

Enduring contribution to gaming history: According to Atariage.com, in an effort to liquidate inventory, Wizard Video sold many copies of Halloween with no label, just a handwritten word across the cartridge. This makes both the labeled and non-labeled versions prized collector's items.

 

Wil Wheaton can take off his head to recite Shakespearian quotations.

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