The living Theatre of the Absurd that is Mark Wahlberg’s “Entourage movie” continues, as the ambitiously surrealist drama—in which the entire world is both audience and actor in a waking Entourage nightmare, imprisoned by invisible forces in the maddeningly cyclical story of whether Vince is doing the movie—reaches the point where actual famous people show up, to further the illusion that Entourage is actual entertainment. And naturally, that list of guest stars must always begin with a love interest for Vinny Chase, because our script says he is a person whom we are emotionally invested in. So The Wrap reports that swimsuit model Kate Upton is now in the running to make Adrian Grenier look comparatively layered, like Sasha Grey before her, because, as The Wrap notes, “Vincent Chase always had a thing for curvy blondes.” Because “liking curvy blondes” is considered a genuine character trait, in the mocking procession of clichés that is Mark Wahlberg’s parody of modern storytelling.
Escalating that illogicality, Radar Online recently reported that Wahlberg and other producers are courting Leonardo DiCaprio for “a significant role” in the movie—this based on DiCaprio’s supposed longstanding openness to being a part of Entourage, as well as the heightened Entourage reality we all exist in now, where we sincerely discuss the imaginary possibility of movie stars appearing in nonsensical projects. Meanwhile, unseen from the wings, Turtle said he would like to see basketball star Kevin Durant “giving my character, like, free throw help. Or just like jump shooting help for his pickup basketball game,” because Turtle is always concocting crazy schemes to hang with famous athletes—and in “life” as on the show, they always work out, because “life” is now but the will and representation that is Entourage.
And as always, merely by reading and discussing these things, you are all actors playing your parts. You’re gonna get so laid at the club now.