So long as history continues to insist on being lame, modern-day screenwriters will be forced to correct it using the powers of their imagination. Hence, Abraham Lincoln will fight vampires, Harry Houdini will spy for the British and play buddy cops with Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Edgar Allan Poe will solve mysteries, and now gunslingers Doc Holliday and Wyatt Earp will band together to rescue the daughter of Sitting Bull from a magical, evil shaman in Warner Bros.’ Wild Guns. Of course, your dullard textbooks will tell you that Sitting Bull’s refusal to accept any dependence on the white man was essentially, you know, his thing. But then, records from that period are spotty at best, and there’s nothing that says he didn’t reluctantly turn to two of America’s most famous gunslingers for help, or that the result wasn’t a sexy, rollicking adventure with “shades of Tombstone and Sherlock Holmes.” It’s like Voltaire once said—“History is whatever you make it, bitches!”—before he sped off on his steam-powered motorcycle to fight demons with Shakespeare.
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