If you can’t stand the heat, stay out of the Hell’s Kitchen

If you can’t stand the heat, stay out of the Hell’s Kitchen

Also: Community, but you knew that already!

Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Thursday, March 13. All times are Eastern.

TOP PICK
Hell’s Kitchen (Fox, 8 p.m.): Ever since Gordon Ramsay ushered baby chefs into the world  in Masterchef: Junior, we have developed a soft spot for him, even though reportedly in those shows that do not feature adorable children he is a total nightmare. Still, we confess ourselves curious; and as the 12th season of the show debuts tonight, we’re looking forward to the devilish fires of Hell’s Kitchen to scorch our tender sensibilities, or something. And let’s be real: We know you’re all going to watch Community anyway!


ALSO NOTED
Community (NBC, 8 p.m.): Abed and Annie choose a new roommate. Todd VanDerWerff assumes that his roommate application got lost in the mail. Meanwhile, Shirley, Jeff, and Professor Hickey try to make money off a bunch of textbooks. Sounds like a wacky, accessible storyline with guaranteed laughs! Tell your friends!

The Big Bang Theory (CBS, 8 p.m.): Sheldon visits Houston to tour NASA and visits his mother on the same trip, which leads to an ever-widening vortex of mommy issues. Oliver Sava wonders if the writers of Bates Motel have been moonlighting over at Big Bang.

Elementary (CBS, 10 p.m.): We just had to call out this episode, which is titled “The Hound Of The Cancer Cells.” It’s a reference! We like totally get it! Myles McNutt is really unimpressed by our “knowledge” of Arthur Conan Doyle’s oeuvre.


REGULAR COVERAGE
Parks And Recreation (NBC, 8:30 p.m.)
Reign (The CW, 9 p.m.)
Suits (USA, 9 p.m.)
Parenthood (NBC, 10 p.m.)
Portlandia (IFC, 10 p.m.)
Scandal (ABC, 10 p.m.)
Vikings (History Channel, 10 p.m.)


TV CLUB CLASSIC
Star Trek: Deep Space 9 (11 a.m.): Zack Handlen’s Outer Space Fictional Space Station Support Group will meet at the usual time and place. Everyone is requested to quietly and calmly proceed to battle stations for a “routine” drill.


ELSEWHERE ON TV CLUB
Brandon Nowalk took the rest of TV Roundtable on a trip to Texas with his choice of an early episode of the ‘50s Western The Rifleman. And though we can’t say that any of us would be good candidates for cowboy school in North Fork, Pilot Viruet and Sonia Saraiya found “The Marshal” surprisingly moving. Then the three of them get into a long conversation about gender in Westerns, because of course they did!

And Phil Dyess-Nugent has a fun argument for us over in For Our Consideration: Whatever happened to Kevin Spacey? Phil traces Spacey’s career, including his House Of Cards success, and examines how this character actor became what he is today—and squandered some potential along the way.


WHAT ELSE IS ON?
Breaking Boston (A&E, 10 p.m.):
Apparently Wahlburgers wasn’t enough—Mark Wahlburg has even more aspirations in the reality-television-on-A&E world, and part of that entails producing this unscripted show about six down-and-out young women in Boston trying to get their lives together. The show is touted as being to Boston youth what Jersey Shore is not to New Jersey youth—so… Shakespeare? You decide!

House Hunters (HGTV, 10 p.m.): If that type of Boston isn’t your speed, indulge in this episode of house porn, appealingly titled “Multi-Family Homes Are A Hot Commodity In Boston.”

Online Dating Rituals Of The American Male (Bravo, 10 p.m.): Well, with a title like that, what could go wrong? 

King Of The Nerds (TBS, 10 p.m.): With a title like this, what couldn’t go wrong?


SOME SHOWS WE COVERED THAT ARE ALSO ON TONIGHT THAT YOU SHOULD WATCH IF YOU WANT TO (EXCEPT SAINT GEORGE, DON’T WATCH SAINT GEORGE)

Saint George (FX, 9 p.m.)
Red Road (SundanceTV, 9 p.m.)
Sirens (USA, 10 p.m.)
Review (Comedy Central, 10 p.m.)


AND ALSO SOME MOVIES, OR WHATEVER
Le Mans (TMC, 8 p.m.): The original Steve McQueen stars in this documentary-style drama about a veteran car racer and his pit crew. If you are watching RuPaul’s Drag Race while writing What’s On Tonight this description is very funny.

Divine Secrets Of The Ya-Ya Sisterhood (TVGN, 8 p.m.): YA-YA! YA-YA! YA-YA! I SUMMON THEE YA-YA

SHE HAS ARISEN.

NBA Basketball: Lakers at Thunder (TNT, 9:30 p.m.): There are two games tonight, but we’re more interested in this one. The Lakers have had trouble winning against Oklahoma City on their home court, and we, for one, are not eager for them to break their streak anytime soon.

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
Suburgatory: There’s never enough attention paid to this little ABC comedy, but start watching: Brandon Nowalk finds it one of the funniest, if not the funniest, network comedies out there. Last night’s episode is about dating and got an A—check it out.

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