Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Wednesday, August 29. All times are Eastern.
Futurama (Comedy Central, 10 p.m.): Tonight’s season finale involves futuristic foxes and the crew of a nature documentary turning the crew into their animal alter egos, at least according to the episode summary. The former one sounds like the typical excuse for the show to make puns about things, but the latter… well, we don’t know what to make of it. Here’s hoping that Professor Farnsworth is turned into a narwhal, not because we think that’s a natural fit but because everybody knows narwhals are the bitchinest animals in the whole animal kingdom. Zack Handlen argued for lemurs, but he’s wrong.
So You Think You Can Dance (Fox, 8 p.m.): The finale marches ever closer, and the show somehow hasn’t had a moment where someone confrontationally shouts the title at one of the dancers, and they collapse to the stage, weeping, “No! I can’t!” Oliver Sava thinks that would really spice this show up.
Damages (DirecTV Audience Network, 9 p.m.): “I’m Afraid Of What I’ll Find” is tonight’s episode title, and we assume that means Patty and Ellen are going to sit down to read The Monster At The End Of This Book together. Joshua Alston insists the monster is Grover. He refuses to read that Elmo shit.
Top Chef Masters (Bravo, 10 p.m.): Tonight, the chefs create dishes using… aphrodisiacs as ingredients? What? We tried this once, but it turned out that the girl we were dating at the time didn’t see eye to eye with us on the sexual appeal of Spaghetti-Os. Her loss! Margaret Eby makes pancakes with Spanish fly.
TV CLUB CLASSIC
Carnivàle (1 p.m.): The long building attraction between Ben and Sofie finally boils over in this week’s episode, though we suspect it’s not the best idea for the two of them to hook up, given all the mystical portents. Todd VanDerWerff won’t date girls with vital roles in the Apocalypse as a matter of principle.
Sports Night (3 p.m.): It was the first Aaron Sorkin finale ever, and he entitled the episode “What Kind Of Day Has It Been?” in a tradition that he would use on his second and third shows before giving it up cold turkey with The Newsroom. Donna Bowman asks herself the above question all the time.
WHAT ELSE IS ON
2012 Republican National Convention(Various networks, 7 p.m.): Tonight’s coverage includes the big speech from vice presidential nominee Paul Ryan, and we hope it concludes with him jumping his motorcycle over a tank filled with sharks. It’s all you have to do to win our vote, Paul!
Buying And Selling (HGTV, 9 p.m.): HGTV made a bet with the other cable networks that it could come up with a title that at once completely explained what the show was about and explained nothing at all about that show at the same time. And with Buying And Selling, we think it’s absolutely succeeded!
Necessary Roughness (USA, 10 p.m.): If you’ve been missing this season of what’s unquestionably TV’s best show that combines football, therapy, Callie Thorne, and USA-style shenanigans, well, here’s the season finale. We’d say you need to catch up, but you almost certainly don’t if you want to watch.
The Exes (TV Land, 10:30 p.m.): If you’ve been missing Scrubs, well, we can’t really say that this episode of TV Land’s “they’re all ex-husbands!” comedy starring Zach Braff will fill that hole in your heart, but you’ll get to see Braff and Donald Faison share a TV screen for 22 minutes again. So that’s something!
The Last King Of Scotland (IFC, 8 p.m.): Forrest Whitaker won the Oscar for Best Actor for this film about dictator Idi Amin’s relationship with a Scottish doctor played by James McAvoy. Whitaker’s electrifying, but the film itself has its problems. Still, it’s worth a look if you enjoy watching great acting.
Pretty Woman (AMC, 8 p.m.): Did you see that ad during Breaking Bad that was bragging about how AMC was going to air this film for four straight nights? Doesn’t it seem like there’s not much overlap between that show’s audience, and the people who would watch Pretty Woman four nights in a row?
MLB Baseball: Cardinals at Pirates (ESPN, 7 p.m.): The Pirates are just two games out of first in the wild card hunt, trailing… the Cardinals (okay, and the Braves). So if the Pirates can manage to wrest this one from the Cards, they’ll be in excellent shape. Also: The Pittsburgh Pirates are a thing again. Weird.
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
Abby & Brittany (Tuesday): TLC seemed vaguely embarrassed to be airing this reality show about conjoined twins, so, of course, we decided it would be best for us to take a look at it. And whom did we recruit for that task? Why, none other than Molly Eichel, who probably would have watched it anyway.