As is the case with most manufacturing sectors, the United States’ Gossip Girl industry has ground to a halt, but the overseas Gossip Girl business is booming. After domestic plot-twist and age-inappropriate-love-triangle factories folded in the face of Chinese competition, Gossip Girl jobs fled south to Gossip Girl: Acapulco (Thanks a lot, NAFTA!), which used its Facebook page last night to tout its upcoming lineup of Serena Van Der Woodsen, Blair Waldorf, and Dan Humphrey knockoffs. “Yo soy Max Zaga” growls Vadhir Derbez, and a recently laid-off Gossip Girl shift worker screams back, “This is the U.S. of A., buck-o! Speak English like proud American son Ed Westwick!”
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